A Very Random Harry Potter Adventure!
by Charamber
Summary: This is a short random story about the boy we all love Harry Potter & his friendship with Ron and Hermionie! Rated K for minor slash, minor violence and Ming Vases! Please review!
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Scene One:

There once was a young boy called Harry. He was a grand boy. He always said greetings to people who passed him by...

Scene Two:

There was a candy store. Harry waltzed past it whilst he was skipping to etiquette class. He asked the man for a nice piece of candy...

Scene Three:

Harry received his candy and said thankyou. He then ate the candy from the candy depository and disposed of the wrapper into a bin...

Scene Four:

After eating his candy Harry decided to eat a plate of vegetables and brush his teeth. He then did his homework 4 times to make sure it was correct...

Scene Five:

After doing his homework Harry had a nap because he was tired from his big adventure. When he woke up 3 hours later he decided to eat some strudel even though it's above his calorie count...

Scene Six:

Harry went for a power walk to work off his calories. On his walk he met his delightful friend Ron. They talked about maths for 3 hours. They then went to Harry's house...

Scene Seven:

Harry and Ron had a nice cup of tea with scones. They talked of past adventures including when they helped the old lady across the road, just as they discussed this Ron...

Scene Eight:

Ron remembered that they had a bigger adventure when they helped an old man with his shopping and he dropped the soap. They laughed for hours...

Scene Nine:

Ron had to go home because he needed to feed his finger puppet. Harry read a phone book as he was bored and needed to learn numbers in case he meets someone in an emergency...

Scene Ten:

Harry was stuck in a rut. He was doing the same kind of things everyday so he decided to rebel against this. He went out and bought new glasses and a spare pair in case he lost his in the wash...


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Scene Eleven:

After purchasing his new and spare glasses, he went to the pub and drank an orange juice. Little did he know that the bar-keep had spiked it with a little bit of strawberry essence...

Scene Twelve:

Harry tasted the strawberry essence right away and asked the bar keep if he had any pineapple juice to mix with it and a little umbrella...

Scene Thirteen:

Before Harry knew it he was drinking juice mixes and almost getting wasted. Then his good old friend Hermione turned up. She was a bad influence on

Harry because she was an alcoholic. She spiked Harry's drinks with vodka...

Scene Fourteen:

Ron ran into the bar where Harry was sitting about to drink his spiked drink. He told Harry of what Hermione had done. Harry was sad...

Scene Fifteen:

Harry was sad because Hermione was hooking up with randoms and he had secretly had a crush on her since he first met her. Ron was sad also because Harry had a crush on Hermione and not him...

Scene Sixteen:

Harry turned to Ron and Ron turned to Harry. Harry told Ron that he was going to act like a random and maybe he would have a chance with Hermione. Ron said that he should pretend that he is with Harry, you know pretend...

Scene Seventeen:

Harry thought that it was odd that Ron wanted to pretend with him but he agreed anyway coz Hermione told him that she liked gay people, but he didn't realised she meant happy...

Scene Eighteen:

Hermione saw Ron and Harry making out in a corner and thought they were seriously in a relationship this made her sad coz she liked Ron...

Scene Nineteen:

Ron saw that Hermione was sad and bought her a drink of water (quite expensive) and she sobered up. Harry saw Ron talking to Hermione and thought that he must have liked her so he stabbed him in the neck with a straw...

Scene Twenty:

Ron suddenly passed out and Harry realised what he had done. He was possessed by the devil. He had 667 written on the back of his right hand.

He was concerned and scared for his friend's safety. Then he saw the blood splatter...


	3. Part 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Scene Twenty-one:

Harry realises that his life is going nowhere. He visited Ron in the hospital and saw the wound from the straw. It was very life changing and now Ron has physiological problems about straws and hooking up with randoms...

Scene Twenty-Two

Ron was wasting away to nothing because he could only eat through a straw and due to his psychological problems he wouldn't eat. Harry conjured up a spell to make his problems go away but, they hid in the forest and he found them again...

Scene Twenty-Three

Ron wanted to die. He couldn't eat and his best friend stabbed him. Also he totally wanted him and didn't know what to do. He decided that he would tell Harry what he felt...

Scene Twenty-Four

Ron was released from hospital and Harry went against his rebel ways and helped Ron. That's when Ron wanted to tell him, but he couldn't talk because Harry did a spell on Ron's voice box...

Scene Twenty-Five

Harry soon felt bad and taught Ron sign language then gave him back his voice box. Ron wanted to tell Harry but, he couldn't because he could only speak Spanish at this current time...

Scene Twenty-Six

"Yo Quero pollo loco?" was all that could be heard from Ron. Harry was confused and has to call upon Snape to understand Ron. You see Harry and Snape were the best of friends but JK Rowling just doesn't know that...

Scene Twenty-Seven

Snape said that Harry should invest in learning Spanish and cooking horseradish coz he was hungry. Ron was sad coz he still couldn't tell Harry...

Scene Twenty-Eight

Harry spent 3 months learning Spanish and when he got back from classes he found out that Ron was only speaking Spanish due to the fact that he thought Harry was originally Spanish...

Scene Twenty-Nine

At 12.36am Harry suddenly woke up. He had a thought about Ron. He wondered if Ron liked him in such a way that it would be more than friends. Harry thought about it for a little longer...

Scene Thirty

After Harry pondered he went to see Ron and asked him about his feelings for Harry. Ron blurted out the truth then realised what he had done. He no longer had these feelings for Harry; he now thought that the priceless Ming vase was quite attractive. Harry was pleased to hear this and rang up Hermione to see what she was doing...


	4. Part 4

Scene Thirty-One

Harry asked Hermione what she was doing and she replied that she wasn't doing anyone at the moment. Harry was concerned but, he asked her out on a date. Hermione asked if they were going to a bar so she could get drunk...

Scene Thirty-Two

Harry told Hermione that she should go to alcoholics anonymous and give up alcohol and settle down with a nice boy and not hook up with randoms. Hermione replied that he sounded like her mum...

Scene Thirty-Three

Harry and Hermione had an alcohol free evening and Harry went back to his old ways of using his manners and keeping spare glasses with him. Hermione wore a school uniform. They met a lady called JK Rowling and had no idea who she was...

Scene Thirty-Four

Hermione told Harry that she had always liked Ron but as Ron was in love with a vase at the moment that she would be with Harry until Ron was available...

Scene Thirty-Five

Ron was so dedicated to his vase that he decided to marry the vase. Harry and Hermione were to be the best man and maid of honour. Harry was the maid of honour...

Scene Thirty-Six

It was a lovely day as everyone turned up to the wedding. It was beautiful until the bride was being escorted up the aisle, she tripped and smashed. Ron was distraught so he killed himself with his pocket square. Harry was relived because then he could have Hermione to himself but, she had also died. She fell into a vase of venomous flytraps and had been eaten. Harry thought what he could do and all he could think of was to play cards with himself while everyone else died around him. After an hour of playing cards he decided to clean up the mess and go back to being a goody two shoes.


End file.
